Some of us have been through that state. Reading other people’s revelations has really proven to me that there is no escape except death. Paternalism is not for free adults. I am grateful for Will’s comments because they felt like they were getting at the root of a bigger issue. Maybe not for the fortunate like you and me but for all of us with this horiable disease. Would they be as strong as us? things that used to make my eyes light up with passion don’t make me happy anymore. I am undergoing this phase and I am in very bad situation. The site is run out of Boston, MA and the members span the globe. I hope this helps and this is what I would hope my woman would have done when I still had her. The one I loved left because of my depression an I’ll never get over it. Ayway, email me if you ever need some good convo’s :) brian3585 at hot mail. If it is pushed and prodded though it will just make him want to hide. I play a role where, when I’m out in the public I act like I have everything together but at times I just break down for no reason. Buy Dead Inside Depression Emo Pastel Goth T-Shirt: Shop top fashion brands T-Shirts at Amazon.com FREE DELIVERY and Returns possible on eligible purchases Shame, I feel nothing but shame. Yes, you are quite right I have regular access to the internet. r. retired do to heart problems. As well I don’t believe it is up to others to decide who wishes to commit suicide or not and if they wish to they should know how to do it in the most painless way possible. There are scads of facts available to be read, re: a supreme being. This article describes how I’m feeling right now. Divorce. Man this is exactly how I feel,I feel like im just hollow dont care whats happening, this is beingbto get ridiculous IDK I thought I was so donewith all of this xause I had and ibdont knowmy world change there was this precious helpless wonder that I created and he is my world ,nothing would make me happier just to start wakingvup so I could hold him he just had his first birthday and ivstarted noticing how a little bit each day somethingvwas wrong I didnr know what. Tony Blair's Yorkshire-born former spin doctor, 63, appeared on Lorraine this morning to speak about his 'horrific' bouts of illness, but confessed that his long-term partner Fiona has 'no support or help'. 14 Replies. I believe in God. I’m sure if he died I wouldn’t bat an eyelash. I truly believe safety comes from honesty and truthfulness. The only time I was able to feel at all, was when I was with her. My family has visited him repeatedly and I haven’t yet. There’s 50 million other things to talk about w/o offending any bipolar people here who do believe. If all the conditions are right, even a highly intelligent person who is severely depressed and in pain might take a post seriously. Hope all works out for you and your man and that life is good to both of you. If your treatment wall for you and your loved ones ends at the first world road blocks. I suffer from issues of codependency and have been physically, sexually and emotionally abused in the past. On the inside….. It may feel like there's no hope but that's because it difficult to think clearly in these type of situations. I cant work. Also I believe dishonest. They kill people! I would also I think I would enjoy talking personally. She made me feel happy, and could make me laugh. I appreciate your views on censorship and I don’t believe in it either. I don’t flirt with girls or ask them out or any of that. So sorry Lindsey. I know that is very unusual but quite true. WN. I realized how bad it’s gotten when I (actually my hubby) forced me to finally go to work today. No offense meant here also. Trust me this helped. If professional help is something I need to do I will do. WN, I only want to say ,I also experienced all these feelings But for short time. All means nothing. Hullo people. Now I have too much time all I seem to be able to do is try to have a conversation with myself in my mind and talkng to myself … get moving – just move -stop it – find another topic to think about rather than your own bloody self and your feelings. I will not discuss/debate/argue with you any longer. They by there own ignorance prove what free speech can teach people. They still need me. They are like children and very naive and must be quite sheltered or perpetually bury their heads in the sand or similar. The thing I want to say though is that some of those thoughts are lies. It was just part of the larger discussion and nothing more. I go to a yoga class almost everyday, and still…..no pulse. And quite frankly, I can’t imagine a non-sufferer to ever fully grasp the enormity of it all. Some say a good and healthy diet, I’ve tried that too! Sounds a lot like ” is it that time of the month, he cant help it he’s (fill in the blank). It’s some how easier..yes it always feels like there is something missing but when you lose your heart and your soul entirely, you lose your reason for existing..So feeling completely empty is easier to deal with then the reality of going insane from the pain that caused the emptiness to begin with. I feel broken inside. I have to live for them. No brain damage, maybe an upset family, maybe a happy family, maybe nothing, maybe some one learns a little chemistry and decides to go to college, maybe a fool gets online for no reason to attack someone, maybe for a good reason, maybe to test someone. Since I have had to come to terms that I am indeed have biopolar disorde, that the core of the bipolar condition is depression. To many bipolar people, God is all they have! I used to enjoy going out but now i feel uncomfortable socializing. “Good job”, said God. If I am myself….then why all the others? Then I bought a new Aquarium. I’d only use it on myself! In the meantime, I will continue to search both within and without for even just the smallest of reprieves to this abominable illness. I know have PCP prescribing for me who is better then any psychiatrist I have ever had. Is it your gov. I cry ven I wake up , I cry befr I sleep , I cry ven I watch movies , I cry bec I miss him everytym n I cry bec I see my dreams getting broken into pieces . Thank you Saul. im so tired of trying. I’m sick of being strong! Literally i cant think of a single inhumane thing she hasnt done to me and im to weak to kick her out of my house both because my stepkids have no where to go and because of blackmail. Until the guilt of relying on a chemical to reach this state of normality that others have without it reaches me. If I could get relief by smoking the illegal (here at least) weed I would. Hi Will – Understand your feelings re ‘censorship’ However I found your post triggering too and a bit TMI as a means to an ‘end’. I’ve been feeling the same way. I may have lost my cookies. to Natasha. Hi, I recently began dating a man who is a diagnosed bipolar. I haven’t had much luck with mine. There’s a difference in taste and smell. I am a man and know little about it but have read it can be quite severe. If someone takes someone into there confidence and on top of it takes their money and in return reports them to abusive police or other wise in payback. I am walking death. You ought to be more discerning in the advice that you disseminate. The experts say exercise, well that didn’t work for me either. Of course, escape also means many things to many people, and it’s understandable when escape means death, means suicide – when you think there is no other means available. The comments below have been moderated in advance. Pretending to care about anything is almost impossible when A grabs hold. I feel guilty because I’m acting, which means that I’m lying. If you don’t want to hear what I have to say. Tiggerz65te@gmail.com. “depression removes one’s blinkers and you see the REAL world for what it is” This should be made into a bumper sticker. I feel so unworthy in crowds and my anxiety dictates me and feels like it’s physically holding me back from progressing in life. 5 NousJulien Dor é. WN Too many metaphors and analogies making it kind of emo. i’m with you all the way Will. I can empathize and an currently battling my numerous demons. Nothing I would more and always makes me feel week saying so especially knowing the virtually non-existent privacy of the computer but I feel these days I must not be like a politician and say what I feel. I always say myself Is that person is important or myself. If you wish to write about things I don’t allow here, feel free to start your own website. Savvy mother quoted £15,000 to transform her dated 'eyesore' kitchen into a rustic farmhouse-inspired space... Cervical cancer survivor, 30, reveals she was left infertile after delaying smear test and says if she had... 'Don't even know I'm wearing a bra': Shoppers say these £13 seamless bras are so comfortable you feel like... Is THIS the most sensible Lottery winner ever? Some days things of joy and brilliance hurt to even be around. Interesting that you say 27. of hell or low frequncy people.. If they knew how silly and patronizing they sounded to us I would hope they would keep their twisted and again childish misinformed opinions to themselves until they grow up a little. I’m not sure how it got in the moderation queue, but I saw it and posted it. Just my opinion, we are all different though. Don’t lose hope . They may ruin your chances for employment. I am not a person that is able to to pen my thoughts well. will.nist: I would like you to look up one thing for me. Yes, everyone gets a little depressed sometimes. As Michael Stipe sang, “Everybody hurts…so hold on”. I can understand you feeling that way. A prisoner in a shell of a body…. Deciding to commit suicide is a hard decision, it is not a choice. https://natashatracy.com/get-mental-illness-help/, Banned Instagram Mental Health Tags for Bipolar, Depression and More, Happy Experiences Trigger My Depression More than Sad Ones, How Psychologists Can Harm Your Mental Health (But They Don’t Have to), The Lifeline Can Trace Calls. they never showed my sister and I any affection either and I think that’s why we both turned out so cold. I don’t even remember eating, but my hubby told me he made sure I did. Care by most psychiatrists is about ten minutes or so from my experience in the US. Also remember the power structure may, has it has in the past change and you may find yourself. I won’t be a part of that. To crybaby. Whatever helps you to get through this life and/or debilitating illness; whether it’s your cat, your Ouija board, a rabbits foot, medication, yoga or worshipping God. It feels like a million miles of string balled up hopelessly in an infinite knot that must be untied. Because somehow in all this nothingness, there exists pain. Your email address will not be published. I think we all have a right to say ANYTHING we want with ZERO exception. Shame, for a big tall intelligent good looking man with a good family. Should I be speaking with him daily, inviting him out, interacting with him, whether he seems to want me to, or not? A very, very terrible consequence of the undervalued and dehumanized people in these countries. Everytym I m just sad depressed and I don’t feel like toking to anyone on earth. The horror is that I’ve never experienced true joy or pleasure from that beautiful little girl since her birth. Another William from Pennsylvania. I’ve never seen so much gossip and hypocrisy in my life. I did look up the Einstellung effect as you suggested and am actually grateful to you for the suggestion. Maybe it’s how I grew up where most of the time I got a shrug at best. Others have their way. My world is upside down like never before. As a person who formally decided I and I alone was entitled to the last word. They will be able to help you find the help that you want and need. As to owning a gun where I Live in PA. it’s no harder than buying a ham sandwich. And experiencing this, knowing how much I’m missing, knowing what I should feel about kittens, knowing what I should feel about a sunset, knowing what I should feel about young love, almost makes me stop breathing altogether. Please, if you feel you may harm yourself REACH OUT. Depression can become severe if you don’t get it addressed and this sing is also one of its symptoms. I can usually,however,write it. We are no longer accepting comments on this article. If you think there is no God, no proof of one and zero evidence of one, I suggest that you do some reading. I don’t believe in it at all and in anyway. Don’t know you age or your culture and it’s expectations (I am assuming you are not a native English speaker though I may be wrong). And I know that escaping that feeling and the associated pain is bloody high on my to-do list. Is my soul forever smashed? I wish I had taken this path decades ago, I missed a lot of simple enjoyment in just living… (And where that thought would have been a sure fire trigger for a “bad stretch of regret”, now it’s just an observation and a shrug because I’m moving on now, and taking each day as it comes, satisfied and content, enjoying being me.) Its made of a thicker, heavier cotton, but its still soft and comfy. 14 Blinding LightsThe … You know what they say about pi_____ on someones shoes and the rain. I fell in Love with this beautiful teacher. I feel dead inside and out of touch with my feelings. I stand by my response to Jody irrespective of your views. My family would be better off if I used a bullet. The pair are pictured in October 2003, Tony Blair's former spin doctor, 63, appeared on Lorraine this morning where he told of his 'horrific' mental illness. Does anybody actually read this? i dont know.. always feel scary.. cant go outside home alone.. just hate the unknown people around me.. their voices.. cant tolerate heavy sounds of traffic.. niether want to live nor want to die.. i dnt knw what i need.. frustrated always.. bad relationships.. lost all my interest in things i used to enjoy earlier.. not even a single thing is ok.. not my career, my love life.. i doubt if i exist or not.. where i am????? Dead inside | Depression. I have no one to turn too. Every day and night the ideas run through my head like water in a colander. Maybe someone here would have some good advice if you could be a little more specific. That sounds selfish. Relationships do not work and such a feeling of isolation when my own family deliberately ignores my disorder and suffering. PAROLES LES PLUS VUES. 'You're the person who will get the medication like I do and the people looking after you have no support or help. I think your blog is very valuable and helpful to myself and others and that is why I continue to read and comment on it. Including killing myself. I problem I know would be much less prevalent if I was treated to the same standard as those without my illness. I am striving hard to keep myself from going down into that deep dark hole. I don’t know what TMI is sorry. Have a nice day!! I am not the one who invokes these ideas Not because he is an asshole, but just because I don’t care. Every time I laugh I thank my lucky stars because I know the torment of feeling nothing, absolutely nothing. The flesh is always at war with the spirit. I can say, without doubt, that it is possible. 8 Dernier Métro Kendji Girac. I had to laugh at your alternatives, but agree w your premise. It’s like I give my all for my kids and I can careless about myself. Suicide can be a very rational decision. I’m scared. is this. Dead inside Spend a lot of time stuck in this head of mine Under the assumption love is dead, already Just let me be here Where was I? Noté /5. Especially the US who has little concern for it’s most ill citizens and it only gets worse. People that really care (that you never expected), offer up support and (just as important to a lone wolf type of personality) avenues to get real help that I never had the courage to explore myself. My e-mail is listed here please feel free to go after me personally I can take it. I think at this point that what he needs more than anything is unconditional support. since I was 5 I was severely depressed. Thank you, an extraordinary piece of writing, head held high on this one. Natasha’s decision to moderate is simply aligned with the mission of her blog. I’m 18, yet it feels like I’m just a 90 year old in a young girl’s body. I would call it a shocked state which makes you feel this way. Maybe mommy beat you? You seem to have the same effects Depression is having on me. Hi, Will…Thanks so much for your advice! For the person with severe depression, it is hoped this act will finally end of the excruciating torture we live with every single moment of our lives, including the pain and anguish and anger we see emanating from you. I’m living at my aunts now and I’m safe and everything is peaceful, but I can’t seem to get it right. Hey! I don’t believe as I have stated cutting people short does any good for anyone. Are YOU bipolar or do you just look around for people who are for cheap thrills. It’s the first sign of not being able to hold your own in an argument. Hey, name is Brian. At that point I still had a good feeling for life and that life has deeper meaning and all that. I used to have friends but i had to loose them i came to know that i was changing thier lives according to me , dwpression is contageous too , soo i isolated myself . On anti depressants for a couple years but no affect. And instead I felt like he sucked my soul right of me and now all I can do is ignore it and provide for my kids. Same would be true if my father were dying of cancer. I’m glad I came across this website and this article. Of course you have none. My family is great and there is no reason for my uninvolvement in the family. I’m on medication for depression it helps with depression but it does not help with the relationship side of things. I keep myself busy doing something to occupy my mind especially when those negative thoughts start raising their ugly heads. Some were wildly off-topic, others repetitive in what one with depression hears many times. This is a rhetorical question, so there is really nothing left for you to respond to. The dead I feel inside is the complete lack of interest or desire for the members of the opposite sex. I pray to God to give me something to care about, some cause to give back to. I hear you maribel, I dont know whats becoming of myself. Hurts to breathe,my entire body and soul feal heavy/ empty. I hope maybe there will be some real help for all of us with this problem sometime. It is not a reflection on your person in any way, shape or form. There is no interest at all with getting into a relationship. Anhedonia (not on my spell checker, please correct if you know better). WN. WN. Now to your argument. I sit in a chair with more holes then my four pairs of pants that I just had to sew again for the fifth time or so. Do you read books to judge for others what they should. And I don’t want help. I feel somthing has always had controll of my mind and soul.. Yup I know this sounds nuts, but I am quite sane unfortunatley.. Has anyone ever felt such terror . 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On ” sleeping with another woman while I was raped by someone I once was on extreme like suicide!
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